This is the first time I've posted to this forum. I come to this website often, but never for the purpose of discussing the abduction phenomena. There are probably better websites for it, IMO.
Anyways, I think I felt much the same way you do now when I was first reading about this stuff. It gets overwhelming and the negativity does get sensationalized and sometimes rationalized. I would caution you regarding those who may view the abductions as good of benificial to the abductee.
The "good" aliens don't abduct. Abduction is a self-serving behavior, much similar to the way we enslave and manipulate lower lifeforms on this planet for our own feeding, commercial goods, entertainment, etc.
I'm not sure what all you've read so far, but here are the best sources I've found on the subject so far:
There are other good sources out there, all of varying degree and accuracy. These helped answer a lot of the questions I had that were similar to the ones you have.