Dear Zoe and Invincible,
You are the bright spots of today (Tuesday).
I would love to sit and write a long reply, but the time pressures (ouch). Yet, you spoke truth, both of you, and I felt it, and the love.
Today I felt--a sense of "concern' (okay, fear, but I hate to name that). Like something was wrong, and how come I coudn't "know" what it was.
My intuition is coming back "online". My mind is starting to come back. I've been challanged to come up with a short statement of why I am divorcing my husband, my children's father. And then there are just the details of living in this 3-d world.
But I accept your counsel and your love. Thanks you. I'll be posting in "ask curezone" soon. I have mercury filling removals and a sick wisdom tooth scheduled the 14th and 21 (3 hours each). I don't know if physically/emotionally I'm up to it, but insurance and money and hopefully, health, indicate taking out the worst of the bunch be done. All and any advice for that is needed. Then the list goes one and on. Tomorrow the psychologist, Friday my daughters 18th birthday, lawyer waiting for financial info, and I just struggling to not give in to--fear and inadequacy. I have a LONG email from my son in Iraq--I couldn't deal with it yet. It is positive in a way, but he says I was a vicious verbal manipulator for years, in his estimation. OUCH. And here I was trying to be kind--trying to please everyone. Wow. I'll have to table that one for now. My head spins too easily as it is.
Thanks for you wisdom, kindness and caring. It feels like I'm being supported, here and there, for these steps. I wish I could learn not to have the physical so attached to the emotional--but pain keeps me real I guess, and somedays the emotional pain is more, and some days the physical, and damn, somedays-they both hurt--but at least then I"m balanced???lol
I know the day will come when I will be healthy whole and holy, or wholly ME>
Thanks again,
pj