depressed

I'm aging. I'm having trouble dealing with that. I look like shit. I've been on the MC, well this is day 6, and weight 103.5. which is great. I know it's not all fat weight but I think it's some. I know I look a little better than I did pre-cleanse but I'm feeling really depressed.
I was thinking of giving up but then I realized I can't change anything that way. I really want to just see this thing through. Maybe I'll have some sort of break through. I've already noticed how I head straight to the fridge every time I feel frustrated, lonely, confused, bored.....and I want to change that. I don't want my eating to be an emotional crutch. it isn't fair to me and it isn't fair to my son.
My mother has done that her entire life. She wasn't over-weight when she was my age but now she's almost 60 and she is obese. and she's unhealthy. she has lung problems and looks and feels terrible. she's depressed and she really truly isn't living. I don't want that.
But if I don't change, it'll head that way.
why is life to hard sometimes?
sorry, I have to unload right now. get it out. blah blah!