Re: how to set limits and handling inner fear.

Oh sweetie! Someone once told me, "What people think about you is 90% THEM and 10% you."

Whatever you do, stop trying to please him. Guys hate that. They want you to be spirited and stand up for yourself and deep down they despise door mats. They will act irritated if you stand your ground but they respect you more if you do.

I've seen a lot of women give there power away by trying to please and the guy leaves anyway.

Botyom line, he may want to vacate no matter WHAT you are doing. And that has NOTHING to do with you! He has his reasons and may blame his lack of responsibility for his part in the relationship on you. But for the reasons you mentioned he sounds like he has some issues.

Do you really REALLY want someone around picking at you? He wont stop it ya know. I was recently with someone that gave me a 5 minute lecture because he offered me coffee and I tipped the cup accidentally. It was in MY car and the coffee actually went into another cup below it, so what was the big deal? NOT a big deal is the answer, but he just went on about it.

Picking at you is about control and about old issues of someone(s) holding his feet to the fire in ridiculous manners--probably from childhood. Or the opposite, NO boundaries which makes a person feel the need to control, too. And sweetie, you will not be the "woman who made him whole". That's a fairy tale. So be good to yourself! I once heard, "Some women think the more pain they are in over someone, the more they love them." Think about that. Love doesnt hurt and if youre in pain, I think total space is what you need to get him out of your system. No more DVD watching, that is just rubbing salt in your wounds and keeps you hanging out for him to "get it". He wont. So tell him it isnt working for you and just...STOP seeing him. You will think you are dying at first- I've done this so I know! But you live through it and then wonder why you allowed someone like that to stay in your life. Own your responsibility by looking at how you created this type of scenario. Say nothing to him about your self discovery though! Your health is none of his business. He will probably chase you at first. Hold firm to yourself and what you desire for YOU. And keep posting so we can offer support! Tweet