Re: Theory about why women go back.

Hi

Autumm : your post is very good!

I agree 100%. I am not a battered wife, but I have had some relationship problems in my life.

I am trying to heal it and now I recognized that I was influenced by all those messages of "peace" and "love" like: no one can harm you, it is your mind that creates those feelings. or "You can change the way you see things and then change the output etc.

Now I am very careful with what I believe. It is important to be optimistic but also we need to see the reality. The hope that our desires are going to change a person is not realistic. We can change ourselves only. WE can change how we feel about things but the others actions are a reality we need to see in the way it is not how we desire it to be.

People do not change just because we wish to. And even if they want to change, change implies a lot of effort, commitment, will. It is an internal personal decision.

Now, I have learned to see people for what they do and understand that it does not matter how hard I try to make things right, a relationship is made of TWO people not one, so the other person believes and actions also count.

Hope has to see reality, no dreams. I jhope for a better life, with joy and harmony. It requires an effort to see the reality and the real oportunities, no fantasy.