Re: Theory about why women go back.

Hi 45829,

It's good to see your message, I was hoping you would come over to this forum.

The reason I stayed was actually several modern philosophies.
New Age: If I am unhappy it's my fault. As one famous author says "I can see peace instead of this." Or Course in Miracles, or Words from UNITY, or Richard Bach, on and on - ideas that we create our own happiness and we have to affirm good things here and now.

Or some 12-Step meetings, telling me that if a person says terrible things, well I can just brush it off and turn it over to my higher power. Obviously those meetings did NOT tell me to sit and be physically hurt, but they DID give examples of horrible marriages where the wife just kept Letting Go and learned to turn off her ears.

Or marriage counseling books that say sooner or later every true lasting intimate relationship will bring out the deepest hurts and shadows in our nature and we must stick it out in order to become loving people.
I thought if relationships were scary or hurtful, then if I didn't stick it out I would re-create that dynamic over and over everywhere else. I thought dating was like boot camp. Guess what? Wrong!

That's a start. On to your other message now.

Autumn