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Hello Sister on the Path,

I read your earlier post and this one and wondered, What does he give you?

You were mentioning having a lot of feelings, and they sound like good normal healthy feelings for a woman to have, so that seems fine. You mentioned a level of connection that you fear you may never feel for anyone else again. So good, I'm open to hearing about that: What is he contributing to the sense of connection that you feel?

And it's totally likely that I'm missing something big that he has done for you. Maybe he encouraged you to go back to school and helped with your application process. Or supported you and cared for you when you made some big investment in your health. Or whatever. And if so, that's really nice.

Sounds as if he needs a bunch of help with working on the house and with parenting the little nephew, and as if he really likes having wonderful sex with you. And again, that's fine especially if he is also really coming through for you in some significant way.

One little worry is that if you met while he was still officially married, maybe he didn't get to have his grieving/transition period after the marriage ended amd he might want one in the future.

Another little worry is that sometimes a guy urgently wants a woman to have his baby because he really loves the mothering side of her and wants to emphasize that in her nature. Or because he would like her to stay put and depend on him. What things has he done to prepare himself to be a good father to a new child? One good preparation would be a long talk with you about financial support from him. Another would be to, say, offer an engagement and some clear plans about commitment in the future.

My experience with men is very very limited, just a few of them really, but any time one wanted to choose me and make a life together, he had NO PROBLEM letting me know. He always found the time, the driving money, the resources, the courage and opportunity to say so and show that he was serious. And, they were really blunt and clear about it.

So again I'm not saying you should leave, but I do hear that you have some second thoughts and concerns, and it seems that time and involvement are not resolving or reassuring your sense of confusion about what is going on. Since you are the one writing to this forum, then to me you are the one whose welfare comes first here.

Blessings,
Autumn Tweet