read "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. I can tell by your tone that you are depressed, angry and frustrated. You also have very low self-esteem, despite your accomplishments. Your family does not owe you a living, and you need to rise above blaming them for every problem in your life. Whether you stay close to your family or walk away is your choice. However, you need to start working on healing your life and rising above your anger, frustration, and low self-esteem and self pity.Until you deal with these issues no amount of money, travel experiences or relationships will give you satisfaction. Stop the blame game and pity party and deal with your issues. Louise Hay has helped me so much through her books and tapes, I think she can help you too.