Re: anyone here cut off thier parents?

I can understand your pain. My parents are quite different than yours, they gave me a lot of financial/material support when I was in need of, but I never got them to listen to me, never felt them being interested in what I think/feel, never had the chance to share anything with confidence...we're just strangers, and even if they do "give" a lot they do not even love me, they just don't want to know who am I, and if they knew it, they would not understand/like me at all!


I once tried to cut them off, because I was so tired of my mother's compulsive buying gifts/presents for me ( it's just her way to compensate her guilt about not being able to give me anything else), but it didn't work, because in the end I love them, and realize they have to deal with a lot of unresolved issues . you cannot change them, you must accept their behavior , even if it is extremely unpleasant. you feel the lack of their love and you would feel it anyway. you have to deal with it someway, you're grown up and this is YOUR issue . You must find your way to get out of these feeling of resentment/anger/ sharp pain that linger on since your childhood, or else they will affect your life forever, and also spoil your happiness creating problems while you'll be trying to build other relationships.

I know it's so hard because you would always like them to appreciate you, but stop looking for their approval, respect and love. I know the issue, and always fall on the same trap! I go looking for their understanding of my beliefs and just find out they are embarrassed and, I try to tell them what I feel and they start talking about the weather in the middle of my disclosure...it hurts a lot. Stop doing it. It is the only way.
I am not telling you to become cynical, but just look at them the way they are, and then forgive them in yr heart. Ask God to hel you forgiving, He will. They're just persons and have a lot of problems.

Anyway, try not to spend a lot of time with them. Focus on your inner growth and self-confidence. This will give you strength. If you are weak and childish you will be easily overwhelmed by their behavior . Do not try to please them anymore! It is just impossible. Be yourself, become independent.


It is a long way to go, I am still on it, 25 with a family of my own !
Hold on
.