Re: boyfriend in the army, wants to be a lifer..no!!

I am not married to someone in the military... yet. My soon-to-be-husband is in the Marines and he went to Iraq for seven months. I understand the feeling of not being able to see him, talk to him, and having the knowledge that he is in a place where the danger level is very serious. He is home now, but will be going back next Jaunuary. I also grew up in the military and saw my father and my stepfather travel from place to place, leaving my mom, my siblings, and I alone for six plus months. I may not be the best person to give you some kind of guidence, support, or just something to think about, but I know that being in a very similar situation as you... any little bit of advice helps!

It would be awsome if I could tell you that it's not as bad as it feels and it's not as hard as it seems to look, but I can't. I will tell you this... in my opinion, if you love this man with all of your being and want to spend the rest of your life with him, his profession is just what he does... reguardless if he's an American soldier, or a garbage man. Every profession has it's positive and negative points in dealing with familes and lifestyles. I know that military wives have that one thing in common... they are married to soldiers who are sometimes home, and sometimes away in the field or away at deployment. There is a great support system in that. I remember when my stepfather would leave to go to the field for a month or two, and all the husbands of her friends went to the field at the same time he did. Some nights we were just on our own and functioned as if he was there, but some nights we went to her friend's house or they came to ours and we would keep each other company. I also remember many nights where my mom would be on the phone crying because she missed him, and at the other end, would be one of her friends getting her though it. When my stepfather is home, he had set hours, was home for dinner every night, and had weekends off for the most part. All of this depends on his job in the military as well. My fiance is an admin guy and he's home every night and has weekends off, except one weekend a month because he works on a reserves base *but he's active duty*. We have a friend who is in the Marine Band, and he works wierd hours and is sometimes home real late.. so it all depends. There are also the health benefits, housing benefits, great schools for your children, and no tax when you go shopping on base.

But, all of that information is just lagistics... bottom line? If you love him, and want to spend the rest of your life with him, and this is what he has decided he wants to do... why would you leave him? It is a hard life, especially for the female of the relationship... but it's worth it. i promise you..
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