Re: Thanks Gala : I follow you step by step

I follow you step by step in what you say and understand exactly what you say. But I do know that we never change our parents, and they sometimes are those who need to be educated, because they are those who are weaker and don't understand things, are overwhelmed. They too, have a past as children.

So what to do when we are in this position ? of course, we feel alone, of course we feel that it all up to us to always decide, to always know, to always have to experience ourselves with no guidance, no help.

But let's face the fact, that's the only way you can grow up, and you'll have to trust in yourself and find other people to guide you and to support you when you need. I aggree it can really be tough to swallow but then, what to do else ? blaming or complaining won't change anything but would make them tougher still. So, focus on some positive visions and go ahead.

Your father probably simply doesn't know how to do what you think is to do. It is good if you feel anyway that he loves you.
Think of how you would feel if he wouldn't love you at all, or if you had been brought up in a poor family, a poor country, with none of what you could at least benefit of in your rich family, I mean you could have been much worse than that still.

You spoke about the Native Americans in your first message, here again, I could give you more insight on what their lives are and have been, having studied a lot of their history. You may idealise, but what if your father, with his personality, had been poor and defeated ? none the better.

Just look at the things, he is what he is, and nothing would have changed that, that's not a quetion of time, and if the culture of society could have changed your environment, it wouldn't certainely have changed the fact that there are all kinds of people and parents and we need to know how to interact with them and to go on our ways, whatever the facts are, or we never live and spend our time mourning about our misfortunes of all kinds.

I believe that there is always two sides to a coin, there is one brigh one to yours too, concerning what your education brought you. Only consider that you are maybe more intelligent or courageous or aware than your father can even imagine to be possible.
Seeing that you reflected for a while for this answer you wrote me, just shows how thoughtful your are, some people just aren't able to. Nice to read your reflections. Gala

quotation :

"Don't let life discourage you, everyone who got where he is had to start where he was." Ralph Waldo Emerson