Re: seeeing a guy whos got a gal and kids

He's holding you emotionally hostage.

What you describe is NOT the actions of someone who cares about you. You describe someone who is controlling you, manipulating you, toying with you.

Don't give him that power - YOUR power. YOU deserve better than that!

Gather up your courage (you have plenty or you wouldn't be posting and asking questions!) Call it quits, end the relationship. Ask for different shifts than his or look hard for another job, change your phone number if you have to - whatever it takes. Do NOT look back EXCEPT to look for the patterns of how you gave over your power to him so that you can learn from it and recognize it if you meet another person like him. (Yes, *person*, you'll find there can be some female "friends" who can try pulling the same controlling and manipulating stunts.)

You say you have low self esteem - Yay! You recognize it AND admit it - you're well on the way to getting past it!

It's time for you to focus on *YOU*. What are your 'good' qualities? Everyone has good qualities, start listing yours - include Everything positive you can think of. Keep adding to the list whenever you think of anything postive.

These can be ANYTHING from "I am a sensitive person" to "I appreciate beautiful things like sunsets and butterflies." Shoot, to start with, include stuff like you can cook your own food and tie your own shoes! Just whatever you can think of.

Read this list often, at least once a day.

Now, whenever you think of something negative about yourself, look long and hard into it and see if you can find *anything* positive about it. Change your thinking about it. Instead of saying something like "I'm so scatterbrained" say instead "I have so many interests and do so much at once!" That kind of thing.

Now that you have a better perspective on those 'negative' qualities, you can work on the positive parts of them to turn them completely around.

Look within yourself. You'll find everything you need right there, with you all the time.

*YOU* are a complete person all in your own right - you don't need anyone else to 'make you feel better'. YOU are a special and unique person with your own precious gifts to share. Do NOT let anyone make you forget that! Tweet