This is the way people change their behavior. You see it as "snide & cynical". You want someone to baby you and see it your way. Go to a knitting circle or baby shower...this is a hard-hitting, change your ways now forum where the brightest players give golden morsels of truth each and every day. You're obviously un-seasoned in the love game (no offense) and came here looking for advice from the "pros". We have done what you question, we've done what you are thinking of doing. "Been there, done that" applies here bigger than life. High schoolers whine and moan about how they should change behavior. Mature adults take their medicine and change for the better. Don't blame us if you don't like the truth...