Well, live and learn! I had you pictured in my mind as a young kid. It's funny how we tend to do that on the Internet. We have a picture of someone in our minds and then we find out it's not true at all! Oh well, you are ALWAYS young at heart! I bet you have the sweetest wife in the world, too.
I am so glad the Epsom Salts and baking soda baths are working for you. It's such a simple and inexpensive thing to do. It almost sounds too easy, doesn't it?
PTree wrote in a post on another forum about washing her face with powdered milk. She said sometimes she throws some in her bath water to keep her skin soft. That's my next thing to do.