"So, as a test, I filled a glass of baking soda and water. Immediately after drinking it, I felt a cool wave run down my tummy. I slammed the glass down and screamed in a mixture of joy and anger."
Sorry but that sounds like total Infomercial BS!
So within seconds of downing a glass of baking soda/water you deemed yourself cured, the cool wave might've just been the cool water and you probably just had acidic indigestion, it certainly doesn't reach the affected UC parts *that* quickly!!!
Ok, so I can't see that you're selling anything so you gain a reprieve there, but aside from that it's a nonsensical statement, if you'd said you had noticed benefits within the next few days then it would've been far more believable, slamming a glass down and screaming within seconds is melodramatic nonsense!...