Edited

mel, in a messed up way your post made me laugh. i'm in therapy now attempting to accept my "crappy mother" as she is. lol. actually, your advice is so very sage... this is the best thing i could have ever done, it really has helped me gain my own sense of freedom. you're right, you can't change the way your parents are, you can only change how you feel about it and you can only try to accept it. if you can't eventually accept it (yeah, you're right, it take a LONG TIME!) then thats really too bad because the crazy pull parents can have on their kids like that can really bring a person down.