Re: The Paradox of Abuse

Interesting post! I saw so much of my mother in it. To all the world, she was a charming person. When my brothers and I would try to tell people what she was really like, they never believed us. Also, she would lie to people and tell them that we were horrible kids who treated her badly and never helped around the house. We (especially me, since I was the oldest) often got yelled at by her friends and relatives. We would try to explain but they weren't interested. I agree that you have to come to the realization that the abuser is not "ok". Some advise trying to confront the abuser when you are an adult to try and get "closure". It didn't work with my mother--she would just deny that these things occured and tell me that I was crazy and making it all up. When she would turn to my father and ask him if it ever happened, he would always back her up!
Some say that the only way to let it go, is to forgive. However, it is hard and I'm trying. . .