Ego Death

I was in the military at the time of my NDE and I had a warped perception of what God was. The greatest difference in me, following my NDE, was that I had a complete turn-around about my perception of God. In my pre-NDE perception of God, I had melded the God of my religion into the American Dream and imagined that God was on America's side and that God had human enemies that God hated. I joined the military to protect and defend(read: plan and plot to kill America's enemies) my nation but when I returned, I didn't want to kill anyone. I just couldn't hate people that America wanted me to hate. The God I met was not into hate but loved us...all of us. That was a major breakthrough for me. I could no longer be in the military because the whole notion of the use of war as a mechanism of "God & Country" was not a reasonable way to see God. I find myself at odds with people of my faith who believe that God would want me to kill anyone for their God. God loves each and every soul and war and planning for war is impossible for me to put in the same context as loving God.

Every year, since my revelation that God really is CAPITAL "L" Love and that God wants us to love one another the way God loves us, I find there are more and more layers of ego to remove. Only when I can love and not be critical of those that still believe that killing for God is a reasonable and rational thought will I be able to complete my learning and let go of the last remnants of my ego. It is easy for me to forgive others who would harm me, because I do not fear death but I still hold resentments for those of my own faith who truly believe that war is not murder. I just can't imagine someone who believed in the same God=Love that I believe in would support war and its destruction. To me, war is another word for murder. It as if I have a different faith then those that still want to play the game of war. I guess this is a place where I am still struggling. What are your thoughts? Tweet