One night about 20 years ago, I went to bed as usual and fell asleep. That night I had the most incredible experience. God came to me as I layed there. He embrace me and held me like a child in His arms. He comforted me and let me know how far above and beyond the absolute Love He had for not only me but for all of His children here on earth. There were no words used between us, it was a knowing, a mental telepathy so to speak. There were no need for words. That was a man-made thing. The odd thing was He was in like this 3 dimensional form, if describing it correctly. He held me in His arms in the physical sense, while also He resided at all times complete and whole deep within my soul in a spiritual sense. And in another dimension He existed almost mentally in a communicative way. It is really hard for me to describe it. I later thought of it as a trinity type of thing or 3 dimensional like He existed in all aspects or that there were 3 dimensions to Him, but as One with All of us.
He exuded and engulfed me with this incredibly amazing intense Love, for He was Love. But He let me know that what I received was only a fraction of His power. Because of our physical bodies we are not capable of receiving all of it.
He viewed us with such pity. It was like He felt sorry for all of us in the way you would see a puppy chase his tale with all his might, belief and passion and you can only stand there and watch it knowing the puppy doesn't realize what he's truly doing. Thats God and the puppy is us...mankind.
Well, He stayed with me the whole night and just held me and Loved me. He let me know that He would NEVER leave me and He would always keep that promise to me.
Needless to say....I woke up the next morning and wept the entire day, I dont know why exactly except I felt like I experienced a loooong lost Love and a faded memory of a home I left long ago and where one day I will return and that is where I belonged.
As you can imagined this experience turned my little world waaay upside down. Talk about yelling it from the mountain top!!! I think they were about to commit me. I think I would've committed me. ;o)
I wanted to tell everyone about this God that was not who they thought He was. That He was this indescribable unconditional, non-judgemental powerful force and that we all got it wrong. That we have made Him in our image with all of our flaws and misconceptions.
Well, as the years went by, I still had this unshakeable faith. When the times in my life were unbearable, He would gently remind me in my sleep that He never left. He was still with me. I took comfort in that. Even if I had to live under a bridge, so long as I had this God, I would be happy.
Around 2000 my life changed dramatically. I have gone through some very, very difficult times, hanging out in the desert with no cloak so to speak. I don't know why this has been, but my life has been real rough. Without going into detail Its been hell, I had been through it all and definetely seen the dark underbelly of life. But... I still held onto my faith through all of this.
Except for last year......
A very close and dear friend died suddenly. He had been a close friend for over 30 years and had always been there for me and I for him. For the first time in my life "I broke." The questions started coming. The whole "whats it all about Alfie thing." I didn't hear from my friend in the afterlife. And if anyone would ever try to reach me come hell or high water,,,it would be him.
But Rudy, there is silence now. I am questioning and doubting life and God for the first time. I came into this world knowing I was sent here for a purpose and there was an higher power behind it all. I had always felt divine protection my whole life. When danger was near, divine intervention came quickly and swiftly......and now there is silence from my friend. Either, I am so entrenched in this hell that I cannot hear spirit or it never existed at all.
What I wanted to know from you is something I always wandered about. Could this experience been an NDE. Could I have stopped breathing that night and died in my sleep and that is why God came to me? Or, could it have been like astral projection of some sort? Could you shed some light possibly as to why I am where I am spiritually now after having had such a divine experience.
I used to never really believe in that so-called dark force (never wanna call it up by name), I always thought that we created our own negative energy by our thoughts. But I'm wandering if there is not something else at work here in my life.
My apologies please, for such a lengthy, rambling on post. I tried to let it flow as true to the moment of inspiration without my personal thought interfering in anyway. I would be much obliged for you or anyone elses opinion about this.