I can't believe it!

Hello fellows,

I was hoping that I wouldn't have to use this site again but it looks like the funk has returned. A month or so ago, I testified that I was healed from Body Odor and that it was the most amazing thing ever. Well....... the amazing thing has dissipated and the cursed thing has gladly assumed it's former position in my body. We won't even talk about the breath because that comes with the territory! I tell ya fellows, this is it! No more wishing, hoping and praying for this thing to disappear because at this point I've been let down so many times that if the wish doctor came to me right now, I would shoot it. Reality unfortunately is REALITY! I just can't fathom this being apart of my life for the rest of my life, especially since this problem only started about 6 years or so ago. I didn't have this problem as a child or teenager so what is the deal! I'm done blaming myself for some action in the past on my part that could have reaped this curse. It is what it is!
I wake up in the morning sometimes or daze off during the day thinking how it has negatively affected my life. It even affects what jobs I will even consider applying to if it entails communication and close contact with others. I'm having a hard time dealing with the FACT that I've been viewed on several jobs as the woman with poor hygiene when hygiene was never the problem. Oh, you want to know what the problem is? Hell if I know! If I did I sure as hell wouldn't have it now. I'm sick of this problem consuming my life. At times, I'm a happy person but then I quickly remind myself that the happiness won't last long if I get around other people. They will surely remind me also of why I shouldn't be happy. What's in this life for me anymore. Winning the lottery or inheriting a fortune would be ideal for me because I would just pacify myself with things. Funk wouldn't even matter because I probably could pay some doctor or researcher enough money to find a cure or my cure. Money would make me very happy or at the least less depressed.
Forget about being a Christian because I've given that up for good. It hasn't helped me in the least bit and I don't expect it ever will. So now I can do all the sins that I've dreamed about doing without the God conscience.
Oh what a wonderful life!