I am sorry to hear that but I empathize with you. I too feel like my real self is hiding. I have become a social outcast. Even my "friends" think I am unclean and dirty, and treat me as such. But then they deny I have a problem but when they think I can't hear they enjoy laughing about it. I don;t know why we deserve this, or why God has given me this. There seems to be so many people with this issue. I wish there was a way we could all meet to support each other and maybe get some honesty about our situations. I am more desperate then ever to find a solution.