Re: Long overedue update......

Dearest Casandra,

I wish I could hug you and let you cry and tell you in person how much I care about you.

A few words:

1. You are not dead. You are very much still alive. You are not even close to dead.

2. You do have very advanced cancer. You are wise to take quick action. Praise God you had the sense to realize the IP wasn't giving YOU what YOU needed, even though it has worked for many. Thank God you have the sense to put your life and health above any one certain herbal program, no matter how much you love it or believe in it.

3. You need a hefty support system. You need to know you are loved. Not just by your kids or your Mom, but others. We all love you and want to see you get well, but you need real people who will touch you and hug you and not go "Oh, yuck, she has a disease." I know that feeling of rejection, myself. If you have a church, call the pastor and ask for help. Real help.

4.Don't let the gossipers make you despair.

5. At the same time, if the lady who is helping you right now says, sweetie, you need chemo or you'll die, then you need to go to the oncologist. This lady is using the big guns on you right now. It sounds like she is just the right person for you, and you've got a dear friend in that guy from Texas.

I once was a midwife. In childbirth, usually everything comes out beautifully. The midwife is there for support. But she also is trained to recognise complications. If she is an experienced midwife, she can handle a lot of things. She can work with herbs and different techniques to help both the mother and the baby have a positive birth experience. But the midwife is very aware of her limitations, and she develops a sense of knowing when to take the mother to the hospital. Sometimes a mother can be stubborn, being all emotional and attached about having a home birth. But when it's time to go, it's time to go. Because of the mother's sentimentality, she could end not only the life of her baby, but her own life.

That lady you are working with is like that. She has the experience to know what she is capable of and when it is time to get help.

Do not think of yourself as a failure, no matter what you decide to do. I won't reject you, ever. I will love you, always. Whatever you do is OK.

Praying for you every single day and not letting up,
-Donna Tweet