Personally, I don't see the difference between hiring them or getting to a bar scene for it...it's JUST AS DESPERATE.
Are you disgusting? You're here to fix yourself, how can I say that you are.
About the hired vs stranger sex, there are people out there who can only hide shameful acts by frowning what others do. I haven't done either of them, but I know that they are just as shameful to each other. Please, I don't want anyone defending on how "stranger sex" is ok, don't embarass yourself.
My message is, well, obviously you can't change the past, but keep remembering to yourself that you can only change the future, just remember that everytime you think about your past.
I can really feel your situation. Of all the people I've wished for a better future on this forum, I'm sending you my best wishes, truly.