%$#*&@! TAPEWORMS!

Hee. If I ever pass a tapeworm, I am going to mount it on a board and throw darts at it. Darts that have been dipped in cloves, Wormwood , Black-Walnut hulls, raw pumpkin seeds, garlic, AND arsenic and cyanide. Then I'm going to peel it off and kick it. When I'm done kicking it, I'm going to light it on fire. Then I'm going to make it watch Gigli. Ten times. And then I'm going to make it eat my Mother-In-Law's sauerbraten.

Take that, you *&@%$*%! tapeworm! Tweet