to change attitude you might like having some tools

Dear Lee, I also got emotional reading your story.
Please have a look at this site: http://www.vivation.com/, maybe this method of healing negative emotions resounds to you. It is a kind of rebirthing, Jim Leonard was one of the first followers of Leonard Orr. I do something similar, a hybrid of many versions of rebirthing, every day for one hour. It is very pleasant, and it works deeply, helping also to establish a powerful connection with the body.
Here is another technique that I have liked much: http://www.maud-nordwald-pollock.com/feeling_dissolve_method.htm. It did wonders to me.
There are also very interesting techniques in the taoistic tradition to help you work on transforming negative emotions and beliefs. Give a look at this: http://www.universal-tao.com/, the technique of the inner smile is a very elementary one, then there are many more advanced, they are all part of the so-called "inner alchemy".
There is another extremely powerful technique of the Vajrahiana Buddist tradition, but I can't find anything at the moment where to address you. It is the one I use for special occasions, because it requires great courage and trust, but I never found anything so powerful until now. If you have friends in Tantrism, they might know.
Then there is EFT of Gary Craig: http://www.emofree.com/. I never used it but I saw Andreas suggests it.

These are tools that might help you in your purpose to change attitude towards your lump and all that has derived from it. There are many others, and I'm sure you will find the one that suites you.
I wish you all the best
Sofia


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