Depression, Anxiety, Loneliness and lack of Motivation

Andreas,

I posted a message on a different forum. One respondent suggested I should contact you...so here I am. I'll try and cover everything in brief to save you reading for ever.

In a nutshell, I am a 37 year old english male. In conventional terms I am relatively successful and secure. In truth because of long standing problems I have devoted myself to work, using it to supress feelings of depression, anxiety and a sense of loneliness even when with people socially or in a close relationship.

Now I find I am unble to enter into any form of close relationship. Friends have settled down and are now having children. Because I have been fortunate enough to have a met a number of very nice girls in my time, people just assume I haven't met the right one or are committment phobic. Some people people find this either funny or a sign of weakness to tease about. The truth is I crave a close relationship, but when I get close to someone I start to get very anxious and depressed. I then force the person away. If they leave I regret it immediately and chase after them.... sometimes that works but in the end I have to honour their desire for longterm happiness so let them go permanently.

I have persistent stomach problems and have been diagnosed as suffering from candida (blood and stool tests). The stomach issues are long standing and have eaten away at my confidence, resulting in anxiety/panic attacks and associated depression. I have performed one liver cleanse as described in your book with good results. Was planning another when I had a motorcycle crash...now have broken leg to add to the list. Plan to do more when I am more mobile.

For many months (if not years), it has felt as if my life has become stagnant. If I do not make any changes in my life then I know nothing will change. I am on the verge of leaving work, but have nothing else to go to, I just hate that place and feel a radical change is called for else I will slowly wither. But fear of change and the fear of anxiety/depression are paralysing me. I have always been shy and reserved, tending to chose to project an image rather than the real me. That facade is starting to crumble and I'm tired of it now. I need to be a more 'complete and rounded' person.

Any suggestions?

Apologies for a long posting. I know you are a very busy man.


Regards.
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