Re: lost and confused

thank you for the replies...only 2 friends know of my disorder and i chose to tell them because i dont see them often, that way i would not get pressure from them. also because i am underweight, no one suspects a thing when i overeat.but i normally binge alone.

i am glad i can share my thoughts here...i know i will overcome this, i just dont know when...its the unknown that we fear sometimes.

sure i dont mind corresponding back and forth through emails, pls leave your email behind.

just a thought..so many in the world have nothing to eat, and here i am binge eating...

i am sure you know christopher reeves who got paralyzed after an incident. his resilence and determination touched me, as he funded research for cure to paralysis and all. and he said something like this in an interview about "many of the people around him having physical freedom but are paralyzed emotionally and mentally, and that is truly sad" i guess that is where i am now, but i also know i will overcome this, its just when.

and the best part is, i just realized that i honestly am the one to decide the WHEN. only i have the power over myself and my eating. this is a lesson for me, to learn. i may not exactly know what it is that i am learning, but i believe i would not walk out of it emty handed. i know myself enough to know that, sometimes things have to hit pit bottom before i run back to jesus and know that he is most important.

writing about my thoughts here or anywhere has allowed me to see my "problem" in a different light. i still want to change my habits (no kidding!), but it really isnt all that bad. depending on one;s perspectve anyway. i hope this does not sound like i am in self denial :)

once i get over this problem, i can help those similar because i had been there done that...now i must learn to nurture myself bacause "i am worth it (loreal)" :)