i would like some input

hi,
I have come through a lot and after many years I have married a man who is very calm and kind. He doesn't rally understand all that I have been through. I can't really talk about most of it.
I have a problem where I can't decide when I should become angry. When people take advantage of me at work or blame me for something, I don't usually stick up for myeslf. Then occasionally they push me way too far and I explode and they are shocked and get upset. I don't get upset with my husband over too many things and in fact i just love him and he makes me happy so I am not too fussy about most things that many other ladies might pick over. But sometimes if I am tired and frustrated I get angry and it is out of proportion to what is going on. Once I lose my temper it just shoots right up to a crisis. I have read this is common with people who have PTSD. I think I have overcome most of it, I was abused many years ago. in one year, i have maybe done this four times. most recently a few days ago, it was not so bad as the last time but the last time was really scary.
the problems then are two. One is that i don't know how to tell when i should stick up for myself and the other, which is more important to me, is that i don't know how to either stop myself from getting very angry like that or how to modulate it when i do. with all due respect to everyone here, and you might say i am wrong, but i have had many many years of therapy and i am not too interested in any kind of methods that involve a lot of reprogramming. i just would like to have some tings to read and think about that i could incorporate into my life and also some advice. This behavior really scares me and it also makes me sad because it is tied back to the time when i had to take an extreme amount of abuse without reacting to either the abuse or the danger involved, just to protect myself and my child and stay alive. i can easily see that for my husband, who does not know about most of this, it is even more frightening. he is a good man and i love him and i don't want to lose his good esteem. i know that stress is a factor and i have a lot of stress in my life from my work which i hope to be able to quit in the next nine months to a year. but for now i need to work on this issue which is really the last big one. i might say being married has been a bit scary but so far i have tackled a lot of those issues regarding trust and i have worked through a lot of trust issues and i am really proud of myself although no one knows but me.
thanks.