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messed up
 
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Published: 20 y
 
This is a reply to # 378,474

messed up


...im 17 yrs old...
i was coming back from school one day...i was jus 7 then...its been 10 years now..the bus dropped me off in front of my building entrance n i could c my mom in the balcony waiting for me...while i was crossing the road this car passed by and then reversed to look ...as i got into the elevator another man entered with me...i didnt get the chance to press my floor button n he pressed the top floor button n asked me to come with him...i was innocent then... always taught to be polite...thought he needed help or sumthing...he raped me on the terrace..its funny how u tend to remember certain events so clearly even though years hav past... i didnt even know what was happening...n i didnt know for many years to come...when i came back home my mom was waiting for me...my parents must've been pretty shocked when i told them what happened but they tried not to show it...the man was caught...at least the man i identified then...im not even 100% sure anymore...i was then...he pleaded not guilty...i dunno what happened next...i guess he was convicted..we never discussed it afterwards or ever for that matter...then there was no trauma ...jus a li'l confusion about what was going on...later as i grew older and realized what had happened it was a blow...it was aggravated when i was recently molested by a house helper who was like a family member....ive never told anyone so far...i never had the guts....i didnt want my parents to blow it up and become even more protective...i didnt want it to be a big deal...he never molested me after i gave him a snub but he continued to work at my house... having to see his face everyday was torturous...i've never spoken to anyone about my rape or molestation before ever...no one knows... but sometimes u jus need someone to talk to...i dont want to talk to my parents or my relatives or friends coz i know i wont hav the strength to face them after i've bared my soul...id feel naked and vulnerable...i have lost the ability to ever trust a man again....
 

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