Gang raped and depressed 
missdown
19 y
5,461
I was gang raped in January 05. I am finding it very hard to cope with. I just can't seem to get on with my life and feel no one understands. I try so hard eveyday to put on a brave face but most of the time I just want to burst out into tears.
I feel so suicidal and feel so guilty and selfish because I have two beautiful boys aged 1 and 2 and a whole family who loves me very much.
I just can't get the images out of my mind!! I have been to the doctors and they have gave me medicine (diazapam) for short term which seems to make my mind feel a little numb. I tell the doctors and pychiatrists that I am suicidal but feel I am ignored. I feel I am screaming loud but no one is hearing me.
My life seems such a mess and I don't know if i can go on much longer.
The rape took place on holiday in Barbados, I have since been back over to identify the men in a line up but no luck.
I just hope there is someone out there that understands what i am feeling and replys.
xXxXxXx- Keep your head up sweetie saylok2000
19 y
3,606
MoreThis is a reply to # 378,474Look I know sometimes doctors and therapists can be no help, and getting put on medication for your PTSD is only icing on a very depressed cake. I think what helped me is just starting to open up to people. I kept it inside for 3 years and it just eats away like acid under your skin. I still suggest finding a good therapist, if one doesn't work then go to someone else. Also look up support groups in your area, sometimes meeting people who know how you feel and who you can openly talk to helps you take those feelings that are inside and forces them out. Its a good place to make friends. Other then that you can email me if you need someone to vent to, or just to talk to, my email address is flowersword2000@yahoo.com...its going to take a while to heal but you don't have to do it alone,Advertisement
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- Re: Keep your head up sweetie missdown
19 y
3,312
MoreThis is a reply to # 378,476Thankyou so much for writing to me. You have made me feel a bit stronger although I know I have a long way to go. Feel free to email any time(i really do mean it)
Connie xxx
- Re: Keep your head up sweetie missdown
19 y
3,312
- one more thing saylok2000
19 y
3,499
This is a reply to # 378,474I just saw a post for a forum called http://www.girlnation.org maybe you could give that a try too
- Re: Gang raped and depressed #44743
19 y
3,510
This is a reply to # 378,474You have to be strong. Think about your children - they need you, what would they do without you? It is a terrible thing that happened to you, but you need to get yourself together and get over it. Sooner or later your offenders will be punished - if not by goverment then by God.
Don't think about suicide - get on with life, you are too young to die!
- Re: Gang raped and depressed Messgae... missdown
19 y
3,483
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This is a reply to # 378,474Makes sense in what you have said but it is alot easier said than done.It is only now that I have started to deal and think about what happened to me. What happened to me was horric it would make u sick. This is all fresh is my mind and just to pick up and get on on with life..!! no way anyone can say that..what more can i say , can't help the way I feel.
- Re: Gang raped and depressed Messgae... u_deserved_it
18 y
3,198
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine
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Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 378,482AHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHA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hahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahAdvertisement
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- Re: Gang raped and depressed Messgae... u_deserved_it
18 y
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- messed up 9876543210
19 y
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This is a reply to # 378,474...im 17 yrs old...
i was coming back from school one day...i was jus 7 then...its been 10 years now..the bus dropped me off in front of my building entrance n i could c my mom in the balcony waiting for me...while i was crossing the road this car passed by and then reversed to look ...as i got into the elevator another man entered with me...i didnt get the chance to press my floor button n he pressed the top floor button n asked me to come with him...i was innocent then... always taught to be polite...thought he needed help or sumthing...he raped me on the terrace..its funny how u tend to remember certain events so clearly even though years hav past... i didnt even know what was happening...n i didnt know for many years to come...when i came back home my mom was waiting for me...my parents must've been pretty shocked when i told them what happened but they tried not to show it...the man was caught...at least the man i identified then...im not even 100% sure anymore...i was then...he pleaded not guilty...i dunno what happened next...i guess he was convicted..we never discussed it afterwards or ever for that matter...then there was no trauma ...jus a li'l confusion about what was going on...later as i grew older and realized what had happened it was a blow...it was aggravated when i was recently molested by a house helper who was like a family member....ive never told anyone so far...i never had the guts....i didnt want my parents to blow it up and become even more protective...i didnt want it to be a big deal...he never molested me after i gave him a snub but he continued to work at my house... having to see his face everyday was torturous...i've never spoken to anyone about my rape or molestation before ever...no one knows... but sometimes u jus need someone to talk to...i dont want to talk to my parents or my relatives or friends coz i know i wont hav the strength to face them after i've bared my soul...id feel naked and vulnerable...i have lost the ability to ever trust a man again....- Re: not messed up! #68716
19 y
3,303
This is a reply to # 378,483Sweetie,
Try to have comfort in your innocent sweet self. You did nothing wrong and are on the winners side. You have courage, is there a best friend in your life you can confide in also, I wish you can find comfort in your life.
Take care if you ever wish to email me do so at anytime.
Im a mom with kids. Take care.
m
- Re: not messed up! 9876543210
19 y
3,444
This is a reply to # 378,484Advertisement
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hey...
thats what im really trying to find again...the innocense...i've lost complete respect for people....ive become paranoid about people...waiting for them to show their true vulgur brutal intentions....well...life goes on i guess...not all days are as bad...
about best friends... none...i have many friends but no one i can rely on or call when i really need to talk to someone... thnx for listening
- Re: not messed up! 9876543210
19 y
3,444
- Re: not messed up! #68716
19 y
3,303
- Re: Gang raped and depressed doucarsha
19 y
3,398
This is a reply to # 378,474
I would recommend getting off the medication. Meds like that will cause health problems (liver damage) and make suicidal thoughts worse. You may want to try Anxius or Homeography.
From mentalhealth.com:
Use in emotional disorders:
Diazepam is not recommended in the treatment of psychotic or severely depressed patients. Precautions are indicated for severely depressed patients or those who show evidence of impending depression, particularly the recognition that suicidal tendencies may be present and protective measures may be necessary. Since excitement and other paradoxical reactions may result from the use of the drug in psychotic patients, it should not be used in ambulatory patients suspected of having psychotic tendencies. - This should help... pelachrum
18 y
3,276
This is a reply to # 378,474have you tried EFM (Emotional Freedom Techniques)?
Google it and read about it, or check out this site: http://123eft.com/
It's pretty straight foward, read through it once or twice, in few tries you'll get a hang of it.
Be patient and believe in what you're doing through it. This will work. - Re: Gang raped in barbados when on v... magocouple
18 y
10,478
This is a reply to # 378,474Advertisement
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We are very sorry that you were raped on your holiday in Barbados. My wife and I went to St Lucia on a second honeymoon. We were worken up in the middle of the night in our ecolodge hotel room. We were robbed and my wife was raped at gun point. We would like to share our story with you and others. St Lucia is a favorite destination for honeymoons and for weddings yet there is very high crime against tourists. Read our story at our website, http://www.StLuciaTravel.org Please contact us at that website if you wish.- Re: Gang raped in barbados when on v... theundetaker
10 y
1,799
This is a reply to # 378,541typical Negroids.
carry some pepper spray,or bleach in small container,pr acid. or a gun and kill or blind the nasty fluckers - Re: Gang raped in barbados when on v... theundetaker
10 y
1,851
This is a reply to # 378,541acid,bleach in the eyes. carry some in like drink small flask
and throw at eyes.
- Re: Gang raped in barbados when on v... theundetaker
10 y
1,799
- Keep your head up sweetie saylok2000
19 y
3,606
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