Gang raped and depressed

I was gang raped in January 05. I am finding it very hard to cope with. I just can't seem to get on with my life and feel no one understands. I try so hard eveyday to put on a brave face but most of the time I just want to burst out into tears.
I feel so suicidal and feel so guilty and selfish because I have two beautiful boys aged 1 and 2 and a whole family who loves me very much.
I just can't get the images out of my mind!! I have been to the doctors and they have gave me medicine (diazapam) for short term which seems to make my mind feel a little numb. I tell the doctors and pychiatrists that I am suicidal but feel I am ignored. I feel I am screaming loud but no one is hearing me.
My life seems such a mess and I don't know if i can go on much longer.
The rape took place on holiday in Barbados, I have since been back over to identify the men in a line up but no luck.
I just hope there is someone out there that understands what i am feeling and replys.

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