I am tired. I am lonely, I am ready to go. I feel like the only thing that keeps me here is my kids. Then I think they would be better off with someone who can teach them better. I can not hold up anymore. I have no other excuse to stay here. I long for passion and love. I do not really hate myself, I just can not take care of myself anymore. I'm just so tired. I do not want anything anymore. I remember as a kid being locked in a room for many hours. I had nobody to talk to and my mind went nutts. I feel that same way. Do not tell me to get help. I have no money. I have no insurance. I just wanna go.