xanax xanax xanax

hi. i've been taking (prescribed) xanax for over 4 years off and on for anxiety, but the last few months i've been taking them more regularly, almost every day. i'll say three weeks ago i had a full bottle of xanax (60 pills, 1mg) and within 2 weeks i took 55 pills. i snorted it a few times and chewed them but i stick with swollening them. i'm beginning to think i have a problem. for two days i haven't taken any xanax and i keep thinking about taking it, like it's a mental habit. i just keep thinking about it, so i took some tonight.

i don't know what it'll be like if i quit taking it altogether. i don't know if i could handle it.. maybe i just don't want to quit taking it. i don't really want to admit it to my psychiatrist because i don't want her to quit prescribing it to me. since i took most of my presciption already of xanax, i called her office and told her i lost both of my prescriptions (xanax and lexapro) hoping i'll get another bottle of xanax.

i know it sounds i have a problem but what are some "warning signs" of abuse of xanax and even withdrawal signs too, i don't know what they are. i'm trying to self-diagnose myself. maybe get some understanding of what's going on or how i could help myself. do any of you know anything about xanax cause i'm in need of some idea of what i might end up going through.