Re: quick update - Karlin's on the path

This must be about day 5.
No sleep yet to speak of, 15 mins here and there. An hour last night for the first time.
Stamina was mentioned as one of the ingredients. Good call.This is as hard a thing, over such a long time, I am exhasuted.

'The Horror'... squirming agony for [just] two days and nights, and then suddenly it lifted one evening, and whatever snake was in my gut has let go of it. Thats allways been the worst of it for me, not everyone I guess.

That was a couple days ago. Those memories fade too fast. I was broken down crying squriming begging someone for some more. They said try a little longer, as on your posts. One minute turned into that hour I told them was impossible. Wow. I had felt like it was definately time to die, and then the light came again. Dawn, and the path was lit. I took it right away. Thats where I want to go.


Now I wouldn't want to got thru that again. I wouldn't want Saddam to have to go thru that. Not even bush.

But morphine still calls. At night I start to plan how I will get away and go find some. I go thru the preparation of it too.

...but then light comes and I seem to drift away into being 'on the path'.

This is a noble and good path. Its role model positive. This is the path of love too. I don't want to leave it.And then I think it will be okay to just step off once, although I know I will have to go thru 'the horrors' again. "No, not that"...And I still want to go. its nuts.

I can barely sit up anymore. Gotta go now, I've printed off your words from a few of you and read them when things were at their worst, you did good there, it brought on tears and that changed the scope for me.

Karlin, still going strong.