Re: Jumping in head first

Hi Stoneface! Interesting story you have and congratulations on kicking the smoking habit - that's a real hard one to break. How to determine whether or not someone is an alcoholic is probably impossible for someone else to determine because all of us react differently to alcohol - our bodies metabolize alcohol at different rates, our backgrounds are different, etc. You're really the only person who can answer that question - if it's causing problems, then chances are it is the problem, but that may be too simplistic. If your alcohol use regularly puts you in uncomfortable positions, either at the time or afterward, or causes you to do things that you didn't want to do and you are unable to leave it alone despite the problems it causes in your life, then you probably have your answer.

The difficulty at times though with this approach is the way that we often rationalize our drinking to the point that we may not even see it as a problem, even though it's acutely obvious to those close to us. At some point though, if we're honest with ourselves, it's possible for us to recognize the effects the alcohol is having, even when we would not admit it to others.

How you label yourself is entirely up to you, I would say. I identify myself that way when introdcuing myself in a group such as this because I want people to know that I am not just some curious bystander dropping in to watch the drunks argue. It's just not a big deal to me one way or the other anymore and I'm not ashamed of it.

You brought up not wanting to feel out of place socially because of not having a drink and I think that's probably a pretty common feeling in the beginning. My solution in the early days was just to order a ginger ale or a glass of water with a lemon twist and sip it slow so nobody would try to buy me another one. As I grew more comfortable, I would just tell people that I didn't drink and let them draw their own conclusions because ultimately I'm not really concerned with what others think about me - my primary concern is what I think of myself.

Clear as mud, right? :)

-Mary

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