but there is a why. there is something that compels you to throw up. sorry if you dont want honest support. there is no easy answer to dealing with this. it is a big thing to attack. and the first thing you have to attack is your mindset. thats where you will find your why.
seriously just think about it. when you feel and attack coming on logically sort it out like you would if you were giving someone else advice about it. of course you would tell them not to throw up. and then you would ask why they would want to. usually an answer comes back as a guilt thing or a control thing and then you go deeper. like why would you feel guilty for eating this. maybe you feel you are lacking personal control but you can control your food thru purging. but then you ask why do you have the need to have such a control on something? because everything else in life is out of control?