LIFE!!!!!!!!!!VERY LONG

I'm just posting this message as a way of releasing the way I feel. Brief history - I was dating this chap for four years and in the last year and a half my father past away. He was there for me but i don't think he completely understood what I was going through and he didn't even try.

We then bought a house hoping to get married. Well he began to go out every weekend and ignore me and my needs. I pursued him a little but then gave up. He became abusive, assualted me twice and found pleasure in threatening and frightening me. So i left. He then started persuing me and I met him a couple of times hoping we could work things out. But he got angry and ran up to me ready to punch me. That was it, it was finished.

Sunday just gone he came to my house with his mum asking me to give it another go. I said no, as his behaviour is awful and has been for a long time. He has threatened my mum, sweared at my dad who is now dead and calls me a bitch, dog, slapper, tells me I'm ugly etc. The worst thing was that he sent me a txt message saying that he is smoking my dads ashes. So on sunday my mum put some dust particals collected in the hoover in a small bag and gave them to him and said smoke my husbands ashes in front of his mum.

They were gob smacked. He has threatened to distribute photo's that he has of me in bed with him to my whole family and friends. I realised that this guy will go lower then low. I was very sensible on sunday, but am now feeling very hurt and empty. I can't understand how someone can be so awful to someone they are saying they love.

He then asked me to be with him again and that he still loves me. But refused to give me back the money that I leant to him. I'm talking thousands to help him buy the house.

I know I've done the right thing but how do I cope with this feeling! Kicked in the teeth big time. I know I have escaped this looney but I'm struggling to cope with what has happened to me eventhough I'm on anti-depressants.

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