The Arcane Library (Response to kruppaclassy from previous lengthy thread)

OK, I think I have a way to explain the "strive, not-strive" thing.

Let's say I have a dream to be a master mathematician. I decide to attend a school with the wisest and most accomplished mathematician ever. I start out in his first class, and he helps me learn the feeblest of mathematical skills. Through time, I progress further, and with the master's guidance, I do well.

Time passes. In my months and years at the school, I make friends, a couple of enemies, do my chores, study what I'm told, enjoy the campus, live life, and learn math. But, as youth tend to do, I grow restless. I decide that I want to explore this math stuff on my own. The master is going too slow. The subjects aren't quite what I want to study. Whatever.

I explain this all to the master. He just smiles and insists that, while I'm welcome to study anything in the arcane library, he insists that I continue my coursework or I must leave.

Fine.

So I spend hours upon hours in the library, pouring over ancient texts, trying to figure all this stuff out, to progress faster. All my free time is spent in the library. I ignore the other students. I grow apart from my friends. The arcane library becomes my new life.

I spend ages studying in the library. As I read the tomes, I understand some of the material... I think... Occasionally, a flash of insight happens, but something... something is missing. Worse, I don't know what it is, or how to figure out what it is. But I am determined to get ahead, so I press on.

Despite my second life, my striving to push the river of intellect, to reach that mathematical nirvana of mastery, I continue my regular studies. I resent the methodical, slow, boring activity of my regular studies, but I carry on, the price I must pay to retain access to the library. Simple arithmetic moves into real numbers, algebra, geometry, trigonometry, inductive reasoning, mathematical proofs, properties of numbers, properties of sets of numbers... tick, tock, ho-hum. *yawn*

Months pass -- I'm pretty stubborn -- and I finally reach my breaking point. The arcane library is too arcane? How am I expected to become a master? Defeated, I return to the master and explain. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a mathematician, let alone a master.

The master smiles and leads me back to the library. He selects a book I'd read months ago and threw away in disgust. He hands it to me and asks me to open to a specific page. I do as he demands and, as I read, I recall being frustrated on this very page. Then a sudden wave of realization washes over me as I realize that I understand it now. We studied it just the week prior.

The master explains that, before last week, I could not possibly have understood that book.

Then the master makes me a promise. The master promises that he will teach me all the secrets to understanding every book in the library. The trick, he tells me, is to attend the regular courses. The rest of the time, he says, I should be not studying math. He tells me that I need breaks in study, like a muscle needs to relax before it can tense up again, or like people balance being awake with being asleep.

I'm not sure I understand all of his reasoning, or what sleeping or muscles have to do with mental pursuits, but I kinda get the idea, and with what the master just showed me, coupled with his promise, I relent and trust that one day I'll understand all the books in the arcane library, too.