Im french so english is not my first language, but in spite of the "difficult terms" you used, i understand you !
Stay hopefull, At least you are in life, life is a present, try to do your best and stay positive because this is the best you can do now, moreover look at solutions while staying clear in your mind and dont be overhelmed by all the informations, if you struggle with this do meditation, do sport ;) Try to contact the best professional wich know your disease, search sme people who cured their disease and look at their solutions :)