Re: victims cannot forgive

The theory that 40 years of age is some sort of cutoff for personal growth and healing is a myth. There have been people who were in their 80's who finally recognized that they had issues and sought therapy, even though they had spent virtually their entire life in whatever state of mind that they finally recognized.

I experienced a number of long-term traumas and childhood dysfunction. What occurred with me (as with most survivors) is that I developed a very predictable pattern of behaviors that are common to individuals who have not addressed their issues and processed them, properly, and I finally sought help because I simply could not continue pretending that everything was fine.

Each individual is just that: an individual. Some people sort it out early on. Others take half a lifetime to start their recovery. And, others simply never know that there's a better way to live life.

Recovery and healing require time, patience, courage, and diligence. And, they also require an acknowledgment that there will be slip-ups back to old habits and behaviors. That's just part of personal growth, and not one person out there lives a "perfect" life.

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