victims cannot forgive
VICTIMS CANNOT FORGIVE
by Dr. Lawrence Wilson
Many people advocate forgiveness after one has been harmed, raped, beaten up or taken advantage of in some other way. This website strongly suggests it. However, some people find forgiveness at the deepest levels very difficult to do. The reason is they are still victims and victims cannot forgive because they lack the power to do so. This is a key point in this article.
Victims cannot forgive, as they lack the power to do so.
SO IF YOU WANT TO FORGIVE THAT PERSON OR SITUATION OR EVENT BUT FIND YOU CANNOT, STOP THE VICTIM ATTITUDE AND YOU WILL FIND FORGIVENESS MUCH EASIER AND SIMPLER.
The reason for this is that to forgive means that you are “above” or beyond the situation, you can see what happened, and you are ready to move on. Victims are still deep in their situation, even if it happened years ago. So they cannot forgive, as they are not ready to move on and are not above or beyond the immediate situation.
Victims also cannot forgive because to forgive would mean to let go of the identity of being a victim, which is often worn proudly by the victim right on his or her chest. It puffs up the chest and makes one feel noble and special. Forgiving means giving it up forever. So that is out. This is another reason why forgiveness is so hard for some people.
Forgiveness is also hard for some people because they don’t really know what happened. For example, they may forgive Dad for that one bad spanking, but they don’t remember or have blotted out the other 100 bad spankings, and maybe a rape that occurred, too, because those are too painful.
So they say, “Dad, I forgive the spanking”, but it is not enough. This is very common, by the way, since the mind blanks out or suppresses what it cannot handle. It shows up on hair mineral tests as a low sodium/potassium ratio in many cases, or perhaps a high Ca/Mg ratio, so you can’t fool the test even if you are fooling yourself or are simply unaware of the whole terrible truth of your trauma.
Another reason some people cannot forgive is they are still so angry. One must first decide to stop the anger and begin to reason calmly.
This is often a little more difficult for women, we find, who tend to go to emotion easily, perhaps due to their higher level of copper in the body, and lower level of zinc than men. However, plenty of men just stay angry and cannot forgive for this reason, too. For more on this, read Forgiveness on this website.
HOW A VICTIM ATTITUDE HARMS YOUR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING
Give up victimhood if for no other reason than that is very damaging to your health. A victim attitude and the accompanying attitudes of anger, laziness and lack of forgiveness may easily:
1. Suppress your immune response.
2. Damage digestion and elimination,
3. Cause back pain, headaches, and other aches and pains.
4. Affect the cardiovascular system.
5. Upset the voluntary and the autonomic nervous systems.
6. More ….
ALL LIBERAL, LEFT-WING, SOCIALIST, ENTITLEMENT, AND OFTEN NEW AGE THINKING IS VICTIMHOOD
Make no mistake about it. Blaming the rich, blaming the corporations, blaming the government – all of it is victimhood. If you want to stop being a victim, let it go and stop reading the liberal books and blogs, stop listening to the liberal TV commentators who just throw in a few jabs at the Republicans and the rich people to remind you to hate them. It is all victimhood.
In fact, anything that separates people is a form of victimhood because it tends to compare and contrast people, saying that some are more worthy than others in some way. This is also called social justice, a horrible concept.
Affirmative action is another victim-based program, as is political correctness in all of its forms. Avoid all of these, now and forever more, if you ever want to be free and sovereign.
Instead, support free market solutions and capitalism. These political and economic solutions help raise people up, help all people excel, help people get rich, and help people work harder and learn new skills.
This may seem silly and off the subject, but it is not off the subject at all! Many people unknowingly support systems that promote victimhood, such as socialism, communism, Occupy Wall Street, Marxism, progressivism, leftism or liberalism.
You may be saying, “I don’t want to be a victim, but I can’t seem to help myself. I just keep thinking of how horrible it was”. This is a common dilemma. So the rest of this short article is about the steps needed to heal victimhood.
1. An awareness that “Yes, I am feeling like a victim of circumstances or events in some way.”
This means you must acknowledge that you consider yourself a victim, with victim attitudes and a victim perspective on your life, no matter what happened or did not happen to you.
2. A firm decision that “I no longer care to be a victim.” It means I will no longer indulge my anger at my father, or the drunk who hit the car and killed the family, or the man that backed his car over my dog, or the boyfriend or husband who ran away, or my child who takes drugs and torments me day and night.
The decision must be real and final. It means I no longer feel sorry for myself, I am no longer willing to run away to my silly pleasures that keep me from feeling how depressed I am, I will no longer run with friends that “agree” on how rotten this world is, and I will no longer read the victim newspapers and the victim websites.
I will no longer indulge in any idle talk about victims of this or that, meaning that I reject the idea that anyone must stay a victim of the hurricane, the tornado, the computer that crashed, the teacher who flunked you or said you are stupid, and so on. In other words, I reject all that and I reject it now and forever.
3. Ask for God’s help and guidance to do the above, especially if I am having problems doing it. I ask every single day in prayer and meditation for help in letting go of my victim thinking, victim attitudes, victim friends, and so on.
4. Embark on a complete nutritional balancing program to strengthen the body, the mind and the soul. I am not kidding. This helps many, many people to let go of all victimhood. The coffee enemas
and the daily Sauna Therapy can help a lot. The Pushing Down Mental Exercise – and not other meditations and prayers – may be absolutely necessary to help you become aware of your attitudes, aware of your past, and help you to detach, become grounded and centered, see clearly, and therefore to allow you to let go of your victim thinking. Do not skip these procedures!
5. Use other methods if you can find them such as role-playing, biofeedback and perhaps others to help you get in touch with events, memories, feelings and so on. Be careful, however, as most counselors and psychologists today encourage anger and victimhood, at least for a while. This is their own failing, but it will keep you down and keep you coming back for more therapy after you have really had enough.
You only need as much therapy as is needed to show you your true attitudes and feelings, and perhaps why you have them. Then it is time for “the leap”. This is the decision that “I have had enough of victimhood. It is not fun! I am a victim of my victimhood and IT MUST GO – ALL OF IT - NOW.”