Re: victims cannot forgive

While this article is interesting and touches on some important issues with regard to having survived any type of trauma or crime, it falls very short of reality.

What occurs to a "victim" after their experience cannot be summed up in a few paragraphs. Often, it becomes a lifelong challenge to manage the anxiety, anger, helplessness, depression, PTSD, and other associated conditions.

Fighting one's way out of the "victim" status is just one facet of this entire stone: it is a challenge, it is formidable, and it must be done by the survivor, alone. Yes, absolutely seeking a guide is an imperative, but most people don't even know that there are techniques and tools that can be effectively used to manage their recovery.

Remaining a "victim" or maintaining that mind-set is a quandary - for some, it's what they've been raised as and they know nothing beyond use, abuse, and abandonment. Others have a frame of reference to say, "Before this happened, I _______." They have the ability to see something other than the role as "victim."

There are countless books, studies, support groups, counseling techniques, and other resources that address emergence from "victim" status. For anyone who is suffering this role and believes that nothing better exists for them, I would encourage them to take every available step to help themselves emerge - on their own. Nobody is going to rescue us. Nobody is going to save us from our own past. We have the ability to manage what we've experience, but only I can facilitate recovery for myself, alone.

"Forgiveness?" This is a subject that is best left to the counseling therapists and individuals, themselves. While there is a freedom and liberation from true and absolute "forgiveness," it is not for the perpetrator, but the survivor in recovery. It only occurs when the survivor is prepared, has walked a fair distance on their path of recovery, and they have done some strong personal work to arrive at that point where it is an option, not a mandate.