constant spaced out, dissociated state. need help.

Hello, I have joined curezone as I am in desperate need for some answers. I will cut to the chase:

Around 6 months ago, a day after finishing a weeks prescription of doxycycline for a recurrent fungal infection/scab inside my left nostril, I woke up as usual, went to have a shower and what I can only describe as rush/wave of complete neurological f***ery hit me and sent me into this 'alternate universe' of complete dissociation. It was the day my life completely changed, it was as if someone had flicked a switch in my brain and sent me on a messed up trip. My thoughts felt as though they had been completely displaced, my vision felt as though i had been stuck in a glass bottle and I was on the verge of suicide from being so damn scared. I tried to walk it off but ended up having a full blown panic attack walking down the road. I cannot stress how messed up I felt that day, and to this current day I still hold these symptoms but have done extensive research into this topic and have somewhat managed to gain slight control of my thoughts and how i react to this constant, evil feeling of being 'drunk/on drugs'.

What I will add is that leading up to the 'main event', I had random episodes of the feeling I described for a few minutes or so which would seem to pass, or I'd just take a nap and wake up feeling completely normal. A lot of other things seemed to happen which replicate anxiety; I was dating a girl and I am usually a confident person but I was so anxious I couldn't even fall asleep next to her let alone do something like go for a meal; at the time I didn't realize it was anxiety but I knew something wasn't right because I was a constant jittery mess.

Like I said, I have researched so so much into this life changing, evil condition. I have been on a gluten free Sugar free diet (candida diet) since which I beleive has helped slightly (I introduce some Sugar now but nowhere near as much as I used to eat, and continue to remain gluten free), I have done liver cleanses, coffee enemas etc but nothing seems to completely shake this horrible distortion I seem to have. Also when I think it could be anxiety, I have some days where im absolutely fine and have bursts of happiness etc like when I'm with friends, yet the dissociation is still there and the feeling of fuzziness in the brain. it NEVER goes away, it hasn't since it hit me 6 months ago.

It's like being constantly drunk or on shrooms. The human race seems odd and stuff like walking through a busy town by myself and staring at passer-bys creates a huge sense of confusion and isolation as if I'm alien to these people. Other symptoms are severe anxiety and episodes of panic which I have managed to control through hypnotherapy and attempting to change the way I react to this disturbance (I take the f*** it you won't ruin my life so I'll just put up with you approach and it seems to help a lot but isn't a solution). I just constantly feel trapped inside this hazy bubble. If i'm in a room I feel like I can't sense if other people are in it too. I dont feel like I am here, spaced out is the correct term I guess. Depersonalization, derealization, dissociation, you name it. I also have the feeling of floating when walking, and my eyes feel dry and as if there is olbas or mint blowing in them constantly which makes me jsut want to keep them shut.

Also, If I am walking and for example stand on a loose drain cover or I sit down on a chair that sinks back I get a huge rush of adrenaline and anxiety as if the earth is moving under my feet, because I don't feel like i'm really there.

I've had sinus CT scans that came back clear as I had horrible fungal smells coming out my nose and inflamed nostrils, sinus headache etc. The doc says I have allergic rhinitus and to use creams for the rest of my life which I obviously said piss off too.

I also have feelings of severe fatigue, dull head aching, anxiety, mood changes, loss of sex drive, moments of severe Depression and thoughts of suicide. Also weird visual reaction to led signs and lights, light sensitivity (seem to have constant light stains in my vision of purple/blue/yellow blotches). constant low level ringing in ears which I can somehow make louder and quieter if I focus on it?!?! various visual disturbances, weird sensation when being out in the dark (as if the dark is some sort of block in my vision, not actual darkness?)


I just want to get out of this bubble, I used to hear about stories of Depression and anxiety feeling like this but I never in a million years imagined it would feel like this?! I just feel as though this film infront of my eyes can one day be lifted and I can resume my normal life.

If anyone is able to offer any form of guidance I would appreciate it so much. I'm sick of not knowing what it is, I'd rather have 2 broken arms and 2 broken legs than this feeling of complete brain malfunction.



Thanks, Tom Tweet