First of all don't beat your self up over it. Next hindsight is always 20/20. Shoulda, woulda, coulda doesn't help you. You're dad wouldn't want that for you.
To help your sorrow; go for long walks, look at the birds the trees, everything around you. Keep walking until you feel good.
Take this as a lesson and learn about natural health and all it can do for you and then help other people but remember in doing it; "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" Some people you just can't help because they want their problems.
Look into Traumatic Incident Reduction (TIR) as it can also help and you can make a living helping other people with it. One site is Trauma Reduction dot com and there are others.