Starting methylation

I'm beginning methylation and I've hit a rough patch. A bit of background: I spent many years in moldy homes and abusing drugs; mostly dissociatives and opiates. I really screwed my brain up with dxm 12 years ago and never got around to figuring out what to do about it. I've had "brain pain" since the day I had a near death experience on dxm and weed. I've been pretty over exposed to Antibiotics too. Depression since I was 10, and anxiety since I was 15. I'm 27 now. 4 years ago I developed chronic candidiasis and never fully recovered. I treated myself for it incorrectly and flooded my body with toxins for a year. I was put into somewhat of a remission with nystatin. Tons of lingering symptoms but nowhere near as bad as it used to be. In the midst of getting sober, becoming independent, and almost dying to the fungus, I was misdiagnosed schizoaffective and almost lost my mind. I've been on many psych drugs but nothing ever touches my Depression and anxiety.

Fast forward to now: I sleep 12 hours a day, I'm borderline suicidal half the time, weak, always tired, and scared of everything for no good reason. My muscles get locked up and tired quickly, I have constant rashes, dizziness, trouble breathing, and urinary pain. I have 2 ulcers in my stomach and an inflamed, raw upper gi tract. I have severe memory issues and can't concentrate and take in information at least partially because of my anxiety. I also have persistent intrusive thoughts and occasional bizarre thought processes (thank god it's not as bad as it used to be). I'm on 2 antidepressants and an antipsychotic. I hardly ever experience positive emotions and I'm constantly stressed. I barely get by and can't hold a job. Aside from that, from the outside I have a pretty good life and a lot of positive things going on... But it's impossible to feel that intellectual perspective in my heart, and the pain of living with emotions and feelings I can't control is unbearable. I meditate and pray and work a solid program in aa, take all my meds, eat a healthy low carb alkaline diet with good supplements for my health problems, and exercise when I'm feeling up to it.

I tried l methylfolate recently and it put me into complete remission from my Depression and anxiety for a week. I felt like myself again, was sleeping normal hours, was very productive, and completely happy and taking in everything instead of being fearful and stuck in my head... But it turned on me. I became very irritable, anxious, tired, full of self loathing, my muscles got weak, I experienced heavy breathing and heart palpitations, I got headaches and a feeling of sensory overload. I read this can be over methylation. Since then, I reduced my dose from 7 mgs l methylfolate to 1mg and started eating a crumb of methyl b12. I don't feel any positive effects anymore at all but the side effects are better. This happens with antidepressants too. I feel great for a week and then I'm as bad as ever. I take niacin when I feel really anxious and it helps. The b12 makes my anxiety way worse, but I've been taking tiny amounts because I read it's necessary.

I'm a biotech student so the biochemistry behind mthfr mutations and methylation intrigues me, but this is a huge challenge addressing the problem. If I have a problem with methylation, it would make a lot of sense since antidepressants don't work well on me and benzos don't do anything. I read people with mthfr mutations don't have enough of the enzyme that breaks down benzos. I wonder if the poor methylation could be the reason I've never been able to recover from the Candida. Info is limited from the searching I've done and my own resources are even more limited. I'm looking for a place to start and recommendations on my recovery. I plan on getting a genetic metabolic profile asap and finding some more forums to post on.

Where do you recommend I start and do you have any other advice for me? Any resources you can point me to? What's the quickest way to get back the initial effects I got from the l methylfolate?

If you need any more specific info about my situation I'll elaborate. Trying to cut down on an already long post. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far.

Dave Tweet