Re: Lately my husband is becoming more irascible

Hello,

I am sorry that you feel this way. I am a male and I am like your husband. If you see our side you will see this situation very differently. I totally am with SoulfulSurvivor, contracts are for kids. Adults do need some pointing.

I have always been like this where I tell people that they are doing something wrong. I have questioned this to myself, why do I do this? My kids stop me sometimes and say, dad, why are you worried if someone is driving while on the Cell Phone . What if they shoot you?

All this was answered by one basic fact, I wanted to help people and seek justice. I help at least one person everyday. Somehow they also seek me out. I have been like this ever since I was a young man, although more diplomatic an patient, which I have lost. I am sure your husband will have the same experience. He was curbed so far now he is out on loose.

I changed my behavior when I saw one drunk homeless steal a beer from the display in a store in a mall, and told the shopkeeper, "did you not see this man stole your beer?" the guy ran took ithe beer can out of his hands and put it back on the shef. The police were standing right there with the mational guard laughing and seeing all this unfold, when the homeless guy comes from behind to attack me and I ducked, but kept on going, I stared in his eyes and he backed down, but the cops did not move. That woke me up, I told this to a few of my friends and they all laughed and said hey if the guy stole a beer what is your problem? You should not get involved in this type of stuff. The scene how police reacted stayed in my mind. I also was balanced by friends adding humor.

Talk to your husband about how he is helpful to people, but just point out that being angry and using foulf language does not help the situation, but being very diplomatic and clever helps. I saw a man took some paper out of his pocket and threw it on the train platform. I wanted to say, "idiot this is not your house, pick it up", but instead I said, "I think you dropped something." He immidiately picked it up and said thank you, walked to the garbage and threw it there.

I do not believe this needs professional help, but you can be the coach. If does this again in public then just say nothing, smile and walk away after the episode finishes. Gestures and our expresions teach far better than words. My parents never said anything when I did soemthing wrong, they shoowed me in their faces how disappointed they were, which stayed with me till this day.

BUT I HAVE LEARNED TO WALK AWAY FROM SOEMTHINGS and so will your husband. Just smile and accept the way he is.

Peace.