Re: Thanks

kkuznet,
I've had at least 70% of the "symptoms" on that list. The appetite and sleep problems are a result of depression, and so is the moodiness. Your grandiosity is a subconscious defensive attempt to compensate for your self-persecution. How can you be "respectful of boundaries" AND "combative"? How can you have "relationship stability" in "isolation" and loneliness? One of the effects of Depression (as I know it), is that TIME is not as meaningful as it should be (one self-persecuting day is the same as the next), so of course there's going to be memory problems. These are not all separate things that are wrong with you, they are all effects of depression. If I understood correctly, you still have the alcohol/drug habit. That's not helping the hallucination/delusional thing you know. I never had the problem of drugs/alcohol since my teens, but I probably would have "pulled the plug" if I didn't have any vices, so I smoke cigarettes. Cigarettes aren't healthy, but, to me, they're better than suicide, and they would also be better than your alcohol/drugs. Cigarettes are not an "escape from reality", they help me deal with reality (they are my friends).