Re: girlfriend was raped

I'm so sorry that your girlfriend was raped and became pregnant, as a result.

You're both very young to begin a family, and I would go as far to say that it would be a grave mistake for her to keep a child that was produced during a violent sexua| attack to raise. Many, many, many women have done this over the course of human history, but there will always be "issues" surrounding that child.

BlueRose is spot-on. You are under no obligation, legally, morally, or ethically, to raise this child as your own. People in your age group have no concept of what is involved in raising a child, and this would interfere with ANY goals that you had for yourself. DNA testing will be a personal imperative.

Is your girlfriend keeping this child because of personal feelings? There are many options that do not involve abortion, if that is the core of this decision. Surrendering a baby isn't a sin or a crime - she will also be facing some very serious issues if she decides to keep this child.

So, has your girlfriend reported the rape? Obviously, she's pregnant and her parents know about it, but a crime has been committed, here, by legal definition. Everyone involved is impacted by someone's actions, here.

I understand that you feel "bad" that you don't want to be a father, at this point in your life, and certainly not the father of an offspring that was produced as the result of a criminal act. But, the only thing that you have to feel "badly" about is the fact that your girlfriend was raped. Her decision to keep this child and NOT report the crime is a very serious mistake. If she won't report it, I would gently suggest that you consider reporting it.

Strict aside......does she know her rapist? I mean, is the rapist someone that she goes to school with or knows within the community?

Best wishes to you in this dreadful situation - make your decisions using common sense and NOT by some false sense of obligation. Tweet