I have read some of the responses to your letter. Here are some of my thoughts. First let me tell you I have been there. It sounds like Depression and it is far more common than you think and nothing to be ashamed of! First be proud of your self for getting some information and help. Depression is something you can't wish or pray away. If an individual has symptoms that "affect ones daily life..."-- seek help and see your MD. If your MD does'nt help see another MD.
Sometimes it takes a while to figure out what medication may be needed but it's worth it. I am all for natural remidies but in this case it did'nt work for me. Also I lost a sister to suicide 10 years ago. This still hurts the family to this day. It did'nt have to happen. When our minds send messages like these you have discribed it is the brain's way of saying "Hey I'm out of balance I need help now!"
I hope the very best for you! And a very Happy New Year!