Bad Dreams Keep Coming

Hey-this is the first time I've ever posted on a forum, and I'm really nervous, so bear with me. I'm just looking for a little advice from people who might have been there before.
In a nutshell, I'm a wife and mother, have a wonderful relationship with my kids and husband, so I don't understand why I keep having suicidal dreams and fantasies. I've struggled with these things all my life practically, and while the feelings may go away for a few months, or even a year at most, they always return. The worst moments feel like I'm stuck in loophole-I keep thinking about how I'm ruining my kids and husband's lives and how everyone would be better off without me. Most of the time, I can kind of talk myself through these things, but lately the dreams are more frequent, and old urges to hurt myself any way I can keep coming up.
My husband is a wonderful, caring man, but he suffers from low self-esteem, and he will automatically think anything I have problems with has to be related to him or our marriage. He also told me once that if I ever got post-partem depression, he would forbid me to see my children. This just depresses me more-and I am scared he will
Any ideas? Since I can usually talk myself through the worst times, is any intervention really necessary? Tweet